Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

How to make love to a trans person

March 26, 2012

This is a amazing poem that I read I wanted to share it.  The author is Gabe Moses.

Forget the images you’ve learned to attach

To words like cock and clit,

Chest and breasts.

Break those words open

Like a paramedic cracking ribs

To pump blood through a failing heart.

Push your hands inside.

Get them messy.

Scratch new definitions on the bones.

Get rid of the old words altogether.

Make up new words.

Call it a click or a ditto.

Call it the sound he makes

When you brush your hand against it through his jeans,

When you can hear his heart knocking on the back of his teeth

And every cell in his body is breathing.

Make the arch of her back a language

Name the hollows of each of her vertebrae

When they catch pools of sweat

Like rainwater in a row of paper cups

Align your teeth with this alphabet of her spine

So every word is weighted with the salt of her.

When you peel layers of clothing from his skin

Do not act as though you are changing dressings on a trauma patient

Even though it’s highly likely that you are.

Do not ask if she’s “had the surgery.”

Do not tell him that the needlepoint bruises on his thighs look like they hurt

If you are being offered a body

That has already been laid upon an altar of surgical steel

A sacrifice to whatever gods govern bodies

That come with some assembly required

Whatever you do,

Do not say that the carefully sculpted landscape

Bordered by rocky ridges of scar tissue

Looks almost natural.

If she offers you breastbone

Aching to carve soft fruit from its branches

Though there may be more tissue in the lining of her bra

Than the flesh that rises to meet it

Let her ripen in your hands.

Imagine if she’d lost those swells to cancer,


A car accident instead of an accident of genetics

Would you think of her as less a woman then?

Then think of her as no less one now.

If he offers you a thumb-sized sprout of muscle

Reaching toward you when you kiss him

Like it wants to go deep enough inside you

To scratch his name on the bottom of your heart

Hold it as if it can-

In your hand, in your mouth

Inside the nest of your pelvic bones.

Though his skin may hardly do more than brush yours,

You will feel him deeper than you think.

Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are

They’re just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts

And honestly, they can barely contain us

We strain at their seams with every breath we take

We are all pulse and sweat,

Tissue and nerve ending

We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.

Bodies have been learning each other forever.

It’s what bodies do.

They are grab bags of parts

And half the fun is figuring out

All the different ways we can fit them together;

All the different uses for hipbones and hands,

Tongues and teeth;

All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.

But we could never forget how to use our hearts

Even if we tried.

That’s the important part.

Don’t worry about the bodies.

They’ve got this.

Birthday chat room Party

March 7, 2009

I am going to have a birthday party tonight 6pm pacific time 9pm eastern.  All my friends are welcome.

Here is the link to the chat room.

I hope to see you there!

My quick review of the Nightmare before Elm Street, among other things

October 11, 2008

When I was a kid, I had a best friend.  Her name was Kathleen, she had very short light blond hair, swam on the swimming team only the really good and dedicated swimmers got on, she loved dancing to the radio (especially when a Madonna song came on) and she stayed over on Fridays a lot.  She lived a house down from us.  This was from Kindergarten to 5th grade.  Her younger brother’s name was Kevin, he also had short blond hair and shared the same amount of swimming trophies she did.  Her Dad had a short temper, her mom divorced him and moved up to Vancouver with a serious boyfriend.  Her Dad paid for all of the extra cable channels and recorded uninterrupted movies off of cable all the time.

He had several of those fake wood paneled VHS tape drawer rack cases.  He labeled them three movies a piece.  At my Grandma’s house right before they moved Kevin accidentally left one of the tapes there from when she babysat him.  The tape has the Last Starfighter, Ghostbusters, and Who Framed Rodger Rabbit on it.  Also at the end there is old footage of a great local Portland Show called Town Hall if I remember correctly.  Town Hall had local celebrities and a small audience come on and have an hour long discussion about a controversial topic every Sunday at 7pm.  One of the last episodes was about South Park and if it should be banned from tv.  A fat guy with a South Park t shirt on raved about the show and told them that the parents shouldn’t let kids watch the show but they GOD FORBID shouldn’t take it off the air.  I haven’t been the same since Jeff Gianola left KATU in ’98.  I just wikipedia’d it. I’m sorry that I don’t remember everything.

On the phone calling to ask her if she could come over I would ask her to bring a tape with movies on it.  She would always ask me what I was in the mood to watch and I always said horror movies.  She asked me which ones specifically but I always just told her whatever ones you think are good because I don’t really know.  She had watched all of them.  Didn’t you know that Pinhead and Chucky are great babysitters?  I have seen some really weird, cheesy, funny scary, horror movies in my time.  We also adored the movie Labyrinth that Kathleen introduced my sisters and I to.  Which I eventually got a copy of in my adult years.  My sister bought a copy a year or so after Kathleen moved with her birthday money.  For a while she wasn’t welcome to come over unless she brought over that movie.  She wasn’t worth anything unless a copy of Labyrinth was in her young hands coming through the side door of our house.  Well, not literally but you know what I mean.

Some movies she brought over that we watched together, I only remember parts of but I don’t remember the titles of the movies.  Some I have found on cable as an adult and rewatched enjoying how horribly great they are and/or wondering why I thought it was so great and scary as a kid.  I wasn’t scared at all of them, I liked the butterflies in my stomach when the suspenseful part was slowly building but I never was scared.  I started watching really gory zombie movies when I was about 10 with my older cousin that lived with us at the time and laughed the whole way through with us.  I enjoy zombie movies and other movies that I don’t know what the genre is but it’s definitely not slasher movies.  During my whole childhood I never watched Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street.  I don’t know if it was because my Grandma didn’t approve or my friend wasn’t interested in them so she didn’t bring them over.  I did watch one of the Friday the 13th movies.  I don’t know the title I will watch them all eventually and I will be able to figure it out on my own.  He gets set on fire and there was a girl that “accidentally” dropped her bath towel and showed her boobs.  Too vague, right? 🙂

I have a lot more things to talk about that is related to my lovely friend I used to have but that isn’t the main point of this blog.  The falling out of our friendship is a whole post on it’s own which I will talk about some other time, I promise.  Charter On Demand has Nightmare on Elm Street until a certain date and I thought it would be nice to watch it finally just so I could start my journey on watching all of them.  A few years ago I rented NOES 3 Dream Warriors but I just wasn’t in the mood for it.  I took it too seriously and didn’t “get it” so I need to watch that movie again when I am in the mood for it.  I feel like I didn’t really watch it that one time.

I love merchendise.  I love seeing when something blows up in popularity and they put the image of the character on anything from trading cards to shampoo to birth control pills.  I love looking at that stuff, it’s fasinating to me.  Especially if it was just a flash in the pan thing that nobody talks about anymore.  Like Max Headroom.  Or the Taco Bell Dog.  Or Noid.  If you are ever bored look up Noid on Wikipedia there is an unfortunate yet crazy funny story about a guy with the last name Noid holding two Domino’s Pizza employees hostage.  So that means I have seen Freddy Kruger merch and I love it.  Here is an article on x-entertainment with several examples of some. Are you back to read my article now?  Ok good.

My favorite merchandise with him on it or anybody else for that matter is when it’s random and totally opposite of the character.  Like one product in that article is a puppet like head with a bulb inside of it.  When you put your tiny hand inside of his head and squeeze the black bulb it is supposed to squirt water.  Fred Kruger mom, Fred Kruger!

The whole point of those three paragraphs is to tell you this.  I am familar with Fred Kruger, and I have a good understanding of why he is scary and not someone you want to dream about when you dose off to sleep.  I haven’t lived under a rock all this time.  But I have commited myself to watching the Friday the 13th movies and the Nightmare on Elm Street movies.  Even after my experience a couple of days ago.

The movie had a good build up, I mean I got to see a baby faced Johnny Depp, an 18 year old Robert Englund, and I got a huge bitter anger towards the mother.  The ending though I felt fell flat.

I made this video to prove a point.  Why?  I thought of the Benny Hill music throughout the ending, thinking Freddy is falling for booby traps that are similar to Kevin McCallister’s traps in Home Alone?  Are you joking me?  I liked the, “You aren’t real!  You don’t exist!” part after this but this specific scene to me is silly.  I understand this movie was made when I was 2.  But come on people!  I am actually looking forward to the remake and will watch it eventually.  I liked the Halloween remake ‘ducks and covers’ so I don’t think this one will be too bad.  Sometimes movies need to be updated.  I think that is all I have to say about that.

A story about opening up Christmas presents

December 17, 2007

I posted this as a comment to someone’s blog. I thought I would share with you all.

Figuring out what something is before opening it is a skill I developed as a child. I would carefully figure out which one to open before it was time to open presents. We would open presents from my Grandparents on Christmas eve night after dinner and after the dishes were done. The next day I would open my relatives presents when they would show up to visit, after everyone came and were settled.

Anyway one Christmas when my Aunt was talking about presents and kids figuring out what they got, I told her I am good at figuring out what the presents are.

She said oh really smarty and she handed me one of my presents. I was about 19 or 20. Anyway my eyes lit up and said oh thank you this is something I’ve always wanted! She said what is it? And I told her it was a trivia game that I wanted for a couple of years. She said oh you figured it out? How did you figure it out?!? It came in a tin container and I felt it through the wrapping and also the shapes underneath it. She handed me a couple others, a couple harder ones and I think out of three I got 1 right.

The rest of the day she was telling people how good I was at figuring it out, it was like I was a prodigy at figuring out what presents are before they are opened. I mean who cares your going to open it soon anyway and then after you do it’s over with.

I can remember how I acted when I was a little kid though, it was like a once a year crack fix, I was obsessed until it was over with, and then I was obsessed with my presents until school started up again.

I also remember my cousin (the Aunt actually from before, her son) one time when he was living with us still gave presents a sneaky way to prevent us from figuring it out before hand. He took big boxes, filled them up with wrapping paper or some kind of other paper (like newspaper) and then in the middle put a cassette tape. I remember one particular Cassette tape but I am assuming he did it more then once. My Grandma thought hey why didn’t I think of that? And he said you HAVE to do that with Cassette tapes or they figure out what it is too easily!! Apparently his mom used to do that all the time.