Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

25 random things about me

March 31, 2009

This will be a fairly lighthearted interesting blog.  I wasn’t tagged when my friend did this on her blog so I don’t HAVE to do this but I thought it would be fun for not only for me but for you as well.  Come back here!!  Don’t make me tie you down to your chairs!!  Ok good.  Upon writing a lot of it I realized a lot of these are several facts about me into one paragraph but it’s still appropriate in this format I think.

1.  After the show Sober House I have had a fairly unhealthy fascination with Andy Dick.  I regularly visit his blog (on andydick.com) and I watched his live stream of his act 3 times 3 days in a row a couple of weeks ago.  When people bad mouth him I get very irritated and want to come to his defense but I keep my mouth shut (me? mouth? shut? NEVER!) because it’s not worth anybody’s time.  I feel Andy and I would be instant good friends and I relate to him in a lot of ways.  I think we tell stories in similar ways, he has a lot of similar stories to tell, and if I wrote songs I think I would write songs in a similar way.  I feel a very strong connection to him since that show.

2.  I don’t enjoy drinking, cigarettes turn me off and the thought of doing drugs turns me off too.  I feel everybody has the right to do drugs though as long as they are home (so they don’t have to make the decision to drive while intoxicated or not) and they are not around me!!  I feel drugs should be legalized and taxed the hell out of.  Then that money should come full circle into decent rehab clinics, halfway houses and various things.  My general philosophy is if you are making the choice for yourself if you want to do something or not it should be legal.

3.  Most of the people I have met that are the most interesting have only been for a brief time.  Either in a job interview process, a vacation, I met them in an interesting experience, a substitute teacher I have only had once or twice etc.  I think if I kept in touch it might of ruined it.

4.  I love cheesy bubble gum pop and general cheesy pop songs from the 80’s and 90’s.  I have several songs on my external hard drive (1,200 and counting) and a significant amount of them are songs I get a nostalgic feeling every time I hear them.  This is an interesting fact because current music like this I do not like.  You can keep Britney Spears, I will play the Killers, System of a Down, the White Stripes, Pink, etc. thank you.

5.  I have a fascination with Miley Cyrus.  I admire her for being able to have enough self discipline to do all of the high school stuff as well as learn dancing for concerts, to go on tour, to do publicity etc. She has seen things I probably will never see (as the other way around of course) and has had and will have opportunities I will never have.  I don’t like it when people bash her, I think she is a decent role model.  She is just human after all.  I have a few songs downloaded of hers and listen to them but I wouldn’t call myself a fan per say.  Just someone that admires from a distance.  I am subbed to her youtube account and I just think it’s fascinating that this girl jokes like an average 16 year old on youtube and she has so many millions of dollars and has done so much.

6.  This is going to sound really really REALLY naive but… I feel Michael Jackson didn’t do it.  I think those people were just trying to get money.  I feel really bad for him.  That was the beginning of the end.

7.  The only fish I will eat is tuna.  When I was a kid I would go with my Grandparents from my Dad’s side of the family fishing when I visited them for a week or two in the summer.  For years when they caught a fish or two my Grandma would cook them up and serve them that night or the night after and I would fake that I liked it.  One night when I was 11, staring at a piece of fish she put on my plate I confessed.  My sister told me to shut up and eat it but I refused.  My Grandma just said ok your not eating any meat then is that ok and I couldn’t of been happier.  She died when I was 12 so I could of choked a few more down for my Grandma.  I need to write about my only memories from my Dad’s side of my family from visiting my Grandparents in this blog someday.  It’s a very interesting topic indeed.

8.  If I cook something for other people to eat as well as myself I always eat the part that is imperfect and give them the good part.  I am disappointed with myself when someone makes a comment that something is slightly off with my cooking or baking.  Even if they are really nice about it.  Even with Harry I am like that.

9.  Most of the text message conversations Harry and I have are him saying, “I love you babe very much” and me responding, “I love you too babe very much” also, “Muah with Love” and me saying, “Muah with love back” if that sounds so random you can’t understand why (which I don’t say to blame you) we do that so often it’s just to ping each other and to say hi throughout the night.  He calls me little babe as a pet name and I call him babe.  If someone else called him babe or called me babe I would be so upset.  Not really but you should never ever do it.  That is just something him and I do but I feel vulnerable telling you this.  In a good warm in fuzzy way.

10.  I can’t decide if I am bad at procrastinating or good at it.  I sometimes put off something the entire night that only takes 20 minutes to do.  Right after I am done writing this blog I am going to repost my hunchback drawing on Etsy.  I have been putting that off all week.  The interwebz just takes up a lot of time is all!!  Now that I think about it procrastination takes up a lot of time lol.

11.  I have been told by 3-4 people I look a lot like John Travolta in this last year and nobody has said it previously.  Like I could be his long lost daughter.  One person started the comment with “No offense but…” why would I take offense?  I love that I look similar to Travolta Baby!!  My cousin Bill calls him that.  Bill is one of the funniest people I know so I try to steal his isms any chance I get.

12. Every time a mac user starts raving about how great Apple is and how Apple can do no wrong I get very irritated.  Just because I use a pc it doesn’t mean I suck HP’s (I am using an HP laptop) and Microsoft’s proverbial cock every chance I get.  It’s annoying how defensive they get before anybody even makes it so they have to be.  I don’t buy products because I agree with the company politically and their image.  I just like the thing.  Ok?  And Bill Gates still owns a significant amount of Apple stock anyway.  Oh snap!

13. One time I got hit by a truck on my bike when I was about 15.  All afternoon I was on my bike and I stopped at the end of the street several times and stopped for the cars to wave me by several times.  This one guy I thought well he sees me and while I was going ahead he slammed right into me.  The nice guy kept on saying are you alright?  Do you need to go to the hospital?  I said no it’s ok I’m fine he put my bike in the bed of his truck and I asked if he could take me to where I needed to go.  He happily agreed and took me there.  I never saw him again.  I really was fine but I never rode that bike again, the front wheel was bent out of shape and and made the bike unrideable.  I never told my Grandparents what happened.  The bike was a bitchin’ black husky boys bike.  With Simpsons bike stickers all over it.

14.  I think one of the major things that I feel disappointed I wasn’t born with was the gift to sing well.  It was empathized when the show American Idol started.

15.  I adore Rosie O’ Donnell.  No wait come back!!  I admire her opinionated side, her parenting side, her spouse side, her goofy side, etc.  I feel I really relate to her on so many levels.  I sometimes think of myself as a younger version of her.  Don’t laugh!  I mean I kind of look like her, I’m a lesbian, I am artistic, I am funny, I want to adopt children when I am older, I’m misunderstood, our politics are the same, etc.  I would be in heaven if I spent the day with her at her house in her art studio.  And then later Kelli would make us strip steak, baked potatoes and salad for dinner.  I have it all planned out in my head.

16.  Many times I google something just to confirm I am right.  I hate being wrong even if it’s slightly wrong.  I hate being corrected, it makes me uncomfortable like that person is judging me.  I just googled to confirm Kelli’s name is spelled Kelli instead of Kelly for example.

17. If someone just said something wrong around me it bothers me.  I feel I have to correct them.  Hypocrisy yes a little but I can’t help it.

18. I don’t have any if only very little sentimental value towards the two movies Princess Bride and the Neverending Story.  Those two are the most popular it seems that I just don’t get excited to hear other people’s stories about.  I am just meh about them.  I have tons of other movies we can gush and talk about though!

19. I used to use a cubby space type of shelving unit growing up until I moved out of the house.  They were pale grey plastic tubs with matching plastic legs that kept it together.  They were about 9 of them and my clothes went in them.  Well one night while I was about to go to sleep I don’t remember how old I was I think I was a Freshman in high school I was sticking my fingers through the grid like holes.  I got my finger STUCK in the hole and couldn’t get it out.  I took out the clothes in it and the other container that was on top and ran into where my Grandma was sitting and showed her.  She said can you sleep with it on and we can go to the er in the morning?  A few minutes later I got it off myself.  Not my brightest moment.

20.  Rule of thumb.  If someone says something insulting to me, somebody I care about, or the point they are making is against what I believe in, but it’s funny I am ok with it.   I have left comments on my youtube videos up that are an insult to me just because it was funny and made me laugh.  I usually delete every negative comment on my videos.  I do argue on others videos though.  I have a strange satisfaction when it’s not when I win exactly it’s just they give up arguing with me lol.

Almost there!!!

21. I am subscribed to 149 people on youtube.  I spend at least an hour and a half to two hours a day watching new videos from people I am subscribed to.  If we couldn’t afford cable anymore and had to turn it off I wouldn’t miss it much because I watch youtube more it seems.  And I can find the shows I really like on the internet and download movies etc.

22. I feel I have a very unique way of looking at the world.  So unique it’s hard to describe and I could either not explain it in order for someone else to understand or if they did understand they would think I am nutty.  I don’t have a huge ego at all I just feel I observe the world differently then most people.  I think it’s one of my gifts.

23. Another person I adore is the Amazing Atheist on youtube.  I agree with 99.9% of what he says, I have weird perversions like he does, I enjoy his sense of humor and sarcasm because I act that way too, oh it’s so many reasons.  He is brilliant yet lazy like I am.  If I were strait I would have such a raging crush on him.  I have been known to say groupie esque like things about him before.  I know this doesn’t sound right to you but it sounds right to me and that is all that matters IMO.  I tell myself all the time if I were strait he would be the one I would want to marry and there is nothing wrong with that.  I just saw a picture of his supposed girlfriend on his myspace.  I am way prettier.

24.  I won’t tell you who but I unsubscribed to somebody on youtube that I am still friends with.  I won’t tell you why because then I think you could put the pieces together in your head but it was because it was for several annoying reasons.  I occasionally look up their channel and watch a video or two but I cannot stand watching their videos on a regular basis.

25. You know the saying there is no stupid question just the question that isn’t asked?  I think that is a load of crap you tell a kid so they won’t feel stupid.  I LOATHE it when people ask a question they either could a. think about their question for a minute or two and figure out the answer themselves or b. wait a little while to get their answer instead of interrupting someone to ask their question.  There are others but that is the main two.  One of the reasons why I love the internet is I can avoid asking questions and I can just google up the answer myself.

I hope this was an insightful blog that told you a little bit more about me.  More about what you knew already about me, some things you had no clue about, and just an overall insightful and entertaining blog.

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Jasper, the amazing yeast biscuit loving terrier! (Thanksgiving post FTW!)

November 27, 2008

A few years ago I saw this story in a local free newspaper.  The newspaper consists of just entertainment type stuff.  It usually has a theme.  Like airplanes, famous toys, actors/actresses, specific foods, holiday, etc. with trivia in that theme and jokes in that theme.  It also has coupons, puzzles, movie reviews, etc.  I used to read it at the laundrymat because they always had a stack of them there and it was a decent way to kill time.  One of my favorite stories from that newspaper is this one.  A friend of mine posted a FYI type of blog talking about how to prepare typical thanksgiving foods for your dog.  It reminded me of Jasper, the poor Terrier that had to indulge himself on almost a whole pan of uncooked yeast biscuits.  I hope you enjoy.fox-terrier-02

This isn’t a picture of him.  This is just a picture I found of a Fox Terrier through Google Image.

We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the
summer of 2001 from the fox terrier rescue program. For those of you who are
unfamiliar with this type of adoption, imagine taking in a 10 year old child
about whom you know nothing and committing to doing your best to be a good parent.
Like a child, the dog came with his own idiosyncrasies. He will only
sleep on the bed, on top of the covers, nuzzled as close to my face as he can
get without actually performing a French kiss on me.

Lest you think this is a bad case of ‘no discipline,’ should tell
you that Perry and I tried every means to break him of this habit including
locking him in a separate bedroom for several nights. The new door cost over $200. But I digress.
Five weeks ago we began remodeling our house Although the cost of the
project is downright obnoxious, it was 20 years overdue AND it got me
out of cooking Thanksgiving for family, extended family, and a lot of friends
that I like more than family most of the time.

I was assigned the task of preparing 124 of my famous yeast dinner
rolls for the two Thanksgiving feasts we did attend. I am still cursing the electrician for getting the new oven hooked up so quickly It was the only appliance in the whole darnï house that worked, thus the assignment.

I made the decision to cook the rolls on Wed evening to reheat Thurs
am. Since the kitchen was freshly painted, you can imagine the odor. Not
wanting the rolls to smell like Sherwin Williams #586, I put the rolls on baking
sheets and set them in the living room to rise for a few hours. Perry and I decided to go out to eat, returning in about an hour. The rolls were ready to go in the oven.

It was 8:30 PM. When I went to the living room to retrieve the pans,
much to my shock one whole pan of 12 rolls was empty. I called out to Jasper and my worst nightmare became a reality. He literally wobbled over to me. He looked like a combination of the Pillsbury dough boy and the Michelin Tire man wrapped up in fur. He groaned when he walked. I swear even his cheeks were bloated.

I ran to the phone and called our vet. After a few seconds of
uproarious laughter, he told me the dog would probably be OK however, I needed to give him Pepto Bismol every 2 hours for the rest of the night.
God only knows why I thought a dog would like Pepto Bismol any more
than my kids did when they were sick. Suffice it to say that by the time we
went to bed the dog was black, white and pink. He was so bloated we had to lift him onto the bed for the night.

We arose at 7:30 and as we always do first thing; put the dog out to
relieve himself. Well, the dog was as drunk as a sailor on his first leave. He
was running into walls, falling flat on his butt and mostof the time when
he was walking his front half was going one direction and the other half was
either dragging the grass or headed 90 degrees in another direction.

He couldn’t lift his leg to pee, so he would just walk and pee at the
same time. When he ran down the small incline in our back yard he couldn’t stop himself and nearly ended up running into the fence.

His pupils were dilated and he was as dizzy as a loon. I endured
another few seconds of laughter from the vet (second call within 12 hours) before he explained that the yeast had fermented in his belly and that he was
indeed drunk.

He assured me that, not unlike most binges we humans go through, it
would wear off after about 4 or 5 hours and to keep giving him Pepto Bismol.
Afraid to leave him by himself in the house, Perry and I loaded him up
and took him with us to my sister’s house for the first Thanksgiving meal
of the day.

My sister lives outside of Muskogee on a ranch, (10 to 15 minute
drive). Rolls firmly secured in the trunk (124 less 12) and drunk dog leaning from the back seat onto the console of the car between Perry and I,we took off.
Now I know you probably don’t believe that dogs burp, but believe me
when I say that after eating a tray of risen unbaked yeast rolls, DOGS WILL BURP. These burps were pure Old Charter. They would have matched or beat any smell in a drunk tank at the police station But that’s not the worst of it.

Now he was beginning to fart and they smelled like baked rolls. God
strike me dead if I am not telling the truth! We endured this for the entire
trip to Karen’s, thankful she didn’t live any further away than she did.

Once Jasper was firmly placed in my sister’s garage with the door
locked, we finally sat down to enjoy our first Thanksgiving meal of the day. The dog was the topic of conversation all morning long and everyone made trips to the garage to witness my drunken dog, each returning with a tale of Jasper’s latest endeavor to walk without running into something. Of course, as the old adage goes, ‘what goes in must come out’ and Jasper was no exception.

Granted if it had been me that had eaten 12 risen, unbaked yeast
rolls, you might as well have put a concrete block up my behind, but alas a dog’s digestive system is quite different from yours or mine. I discovered this was a mixed blessing when we prepared to leave Karen’s house. Having discovered his ‘packages’ on the garage floor, we loaded him up in the car so we could hose down the floor.

This was another naive decision on our part. The blast of water from
the hose hit the poop on the floor and the poop on the floor withstood the
blast from the hose. It was like Portland cement beginning to set up and cure.
We finally tried to remove it with a shovel. I (obviously no one else
was going to offer their services) had to get on my hands and knees with a
coarse brush to get the remnants off of the floor. And as if this wasn’t degrading enough, the darn dog in his drunken state had walked through the poop and left paw prints all over the garage floor that had to be brushed too.

Well, by this time the dog was sobering up nicely so we took him home
and dropped him off before we left for our second Thanksgiving dinner at
Perry’s sister’s house.

I am happy to report that as of today (Monday) the dog is back to
normal both in size and temperament. He has had a bath and is no longer tricolor. None the worse for wear I presume. I am also happy to report that just this evening I found 2 risen unbaked yeast rolls hidden inside my closet door. It appears he must have come to his senses after eating 10 of them but decided hiding 2 of them for later would not be a bad idea. Now, I’m doing
research on the computer as to: ‘How to clean unbaked dough from the carpet.’
And how was your day?

Random pictures I have found on the internet: Election edition

October 26, 2008

I don’t like bringing politics into this blog that often.  Because I think the people that come to this blog are looking for something to distract them from politics and real life subjects.  If you don’t want to read about anything political skip this one.  I feel this is like a screen shot for this place in time politically.  I feel this is the appropriate venue to get this out of my system.  Especially if you are pro McCain/Palin you will be offended because these pictures will be very biased against them.

I don’t get offended that easily so these jokes are very funny to me.  If you are offended at jokes in the pictures but still want to look at something on this blog article, at the end there will be videos and they aren’t off color and as offensive as the pictures.

These will mostly be pictures, I won’t post commentary on most of them.  Click on them to enlarge.

Shall we?

BTW I don’t consider myself a Democrat.  I don’t like how the system lumps people into groups.  I am registered as an Independent.  So I guess that means that I can bash everybody lol!!

LMAO!!!  That is why people shouldn’t make airbrushed shirts.  Ever.  There should be a PSA against them.  Say no to airbrushing kids.

Very offensive yet it makes me hysterically giggle every time I see it.  There are several jokes with this picture.  Same frames, different text.   For people that have so much time on their hands they photoshop something like this up, I salute you.

Freakin’ uncanny.

This one is a bit out of date but I put it up because obviously someone put a lot of effort into this.

Bouncy bouncy.

This is obviously shopped but amusing.  I still haven’t seen W yet I want to.  Most people liked it but this one person said they didn’t get it and the bad impersonation of C. Rice was distracting.  We’ll see.

Creepy, right?

I hate Bill O’Rielly I feel he is a sell out and a coward but I love this picture.  This is like something I would make.

I love this one 🙂

Even though on 20 20 last week they were talking about how we put politicians up on a pedestal and we are always disappointed by that.  They can never live up to the expectations we hold them to.  Makes you think.

Ok that’s it.  No more pictures.  Now onto the videos.  But I bet some of these you have already seen.

I adore these videos.  Howie and Julie from Venga Productions are so cool.  If I tried my whole life to be as cool as them at the end of my life I think I would be about an eighth of my way there.  This is the first video I watch of theirs when I go through them.  I have been watching these videos 2 times a day for the last 6 days or so.  When I like something I REALLY like something and can’t stop myself from rewatching it a million times until I am completely tired of it and then I move onto something else.  The first couple times watching this video I giggled a little to myself during the, “I’m so fucking scared of you” part.  I also enjoy how they mention that women won’t vote for her just because she has tits.  I like the clever wording there.

This is the next video I watch.  The Axis of Evil line makes me smirk every time.

Unfortunately this is the last one.

I am hoping they make at least one more before the election.  I enjoy their style.  I love in the last video watching Julie dance.  She is so hot dancing, you work it Julie!

This is the link for Amy Poehler’s Sarah Palin Rap

This one wouldn’t embed it’s from NBC’s site.  If anyone thinks that Sarah was actually going to do it but backed out at the last minute is a moron.  Sorry but it’s true.  Part of the sketch was her saying that she loved practicing the rap, but she didn’t want to perform it publicly after all.  I actually am going to admit this but I like Sarah just a tiny bit more for being such a good sport about it the rap and the whole bit.  Tiny bit.  She still has the Axis of Evil between her thighs…

Remember this?  I knew the whole dumb blond thing was just to get money.

Here is the link, I couldn’t get it to embed

This is classic.  He didn’t do this for any other campaign but this one.  This shows how important it is for people to make this one the right vote.  For Obama 😀
If this is the first time your watching this and you get inspired to register to vote because of it.  Sorry your so screwed.  The time has came and went to register, it’s still a funny video though.
This video is really funny.  There is still time for this one to inspire you to change the world.  Please, convince your Grandparents to make their vote count for the better 🙂

You have to admire how time consuming this must of been.  Cheesy but it should at least get one view.

It reminds me of this song.  I admire the work that this took too.  This video has more meaning because I feel it’s the Bush Administration’s theme song.  Notice he is wearing the same outfit the entire video.  Imagine your great grandkids watching this on youtube and then asking you what Bush did that was so bad.  That one question is a mouthful I think.

I have rewatched this video several times.  This is a unique parody I think because it’s a serious parody.  This is him expressing his opinion of Bush and this last 8 years (when this video was made it was about 7 years)

I have rewatched this video several times as well.  This is a unique parody I think because it’s a serious parody.  This is expression his opinion of Bush and this last 8 years (when this video was made it was about 7 years)

We are almost done 🙂

It might sound like things bother me easily but this video bothers me every time I watch it.  Especially the, “I like them because it’s an election year and they are taxpayers” part.  Bush is the boogeyman to me.  He is who creeps around in the shadows at night that you warn your children about.

Last video!  I swear it is!

I love this video.  It’s catchy and it has a positive message.  She makes me think even MORE that gay people are great and if the world were without them the world would be so empty.

That’s it!  We’re done!  For everyone that has registered to vote, congrats!  For everyone that has registered and voted already, I hope you made the right choice!  I have already voted and I feel great about it.  I feel this is one of the most important votes of my lifetime.  It inspired me to vote for the first time because I know how important it is.

Random pictures that I have taken or found part 2

October 21, 2008

I just decided this will be a regular thing.  Why?  Because I like it.  And because I think others like it too.  A lot of these pictures are from ircimages.com but I think it’s ok because it’s not like they link the original person that made the picture and I add commentary.  So there.

First off, this is a good picture to get you in the mood for the Halloween season.  Why?  It’s creepy.  And I took it.  I felt I had to, just to talk about it here.

When we came back out to our car, this car was in the spot to our right.  I told myself ok, if the person doesn’t come back before I put all of the groceries in the car and put the cart away I am taking a picture as quick as I can.  Notice how blurry the water warn spots are.  This car reminds me of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  Seriously folks, the worn down white trash feel to it and the artwork on the windshield is spooky.   The only thing I edited is the white blurred spot to your right on the windshield is a blurred out license plate.  I am getting better at shoppin’ folks.

This is the edited version…

This is my version.  The version that is completed.  I wonder if there is a story behind why the last stripe wasn’t there.

I tried to find the origin of this logo through Google but I couldn’t really find anything.  So I don’t have a good ending for this part of this article and I apologize.  Antichrist = opposite of Christ.  The end.

I want to throw some more pictures in because A. I have more pictures and B. I really don’t think this article should end on an awkward note.

One of the wonderful things about the internet is completely random segways.  I love that cat.  I love it with every fiber of my being.  I love the pouty look on it’s face, how it’s standing in the empty soda case box, everything.  And it kind of looks like Sparta, Cory “Mr. Safety” Williams’ cat.  He is an internet celebrity because of that cat.  I spent a 4 hour blogtv chat with him about a month and a half ago.  It was, epic.  I should of posted a blog talking about it that night, sorry.  Also I should of recorded parts of it with Camtasia.  I will regret not recording a certain part to the day I die.  It has to do with a certain Fire Alarm Kid.  Look in my favorites on youtube if your REALLY curious.

Apparently this is the new thing people say to people that post the first post anyplace and just say FIRST! annoyingly announcing it to the interwebz.  I hope that this snarky line will die that down, it has gotten old.  I admit liking it and actually participating in it over two years ago but come on.  Spending so much time online refreshing a certain page just so you can say FIRST proudly isn’t really anything special.  It is pathetic if you think about it.  I delete everybody that does that on my blog or on my youtube videos comments.  There is a shirt that Jinx sells that says I’m only here because my server is down.  If they sold a shirt that said I’m only here because youtube is down with the youtube logo on it then I would buy it.  I know a lot of people (on Youtube lol) that would buy one.  I should email Jinx sometime about that.

Walmart is stealing ideas from The Simpsons now.  You heard it here first.  I took that picture.  I should get one of those big cookies w/ frosting someday.  Sounds odd but tasty at the same time.  If you like cookies more then cake that is.

I love this cake.  Everyone that has used the interwebz especially Youtube knows what song these lyrics are from.  I love the pun and I love how the word dessert a different color then the rest of the writing.  Whoever wrote the words are quite good at writing with frosting.  This is obviously a homemade cake so it doesn’t fit the requirements over at Cake Wrecks which is strict about their it has to be a store bought cake policy.  Sigh.  I want Cake Wreck fame dammit!

If you don’t know what Cake Wrecks is it’s a site where the hilarious and snarky Jen writes about pictures she has either found on the internet (I just upgraded my vocab) or people have emailed her.  The pictures are of cakes.  Not just the horribly done cakes with misspellings and stuff written on them that is odd and off the wall, but well done cakes that are very bizzare.  Like “I didn’t know Charles Manson made cakes in prison!” bizzare.  Did you know that he is 73 now and he is going to be eligible for parole in 2012?  Look it up.  Sometimes things boggle my mind.  I couldn’t imagine walking around free on the same earth as him.

I have an online friend that met him years ago.  He said that he is scum and everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie.  He said that a prison cell is too good for him.  Everybody has their own opinion.  I think cults are fascinating.  Because it shows how powerful one person can be to lots of people.  They can convince several naive people to do horrible things.  Just because they look smart, charming, and they are just flat out a great bullshitter.  I think if you look at it that way it’s interesting.  Serial killers are fascinating to me too because the strange and unusual is fascinating to me.  I would be a great Criminal Psychologist if I applied myself.  Ahhh sigh 🙂

Excuse me officer I was just blowing my lunch LMAO.  I found this picture randomly earlier and I think this is a good ending to this article.  I want a million of these and I want to just pass them out to whoever amuses me.  You can’t really tell the size, but it looks like you can cover most of it if you put the package in the palm of your hand.  They should make spam gum.  I’d buy that too.  I boo naive numb consumers yet I am one.

I got my ballot today.  Tomorrow I am going to fill it out and hopefully send it that day too.  First time!  My whole adulthood the president has been Bush so you can’t really blame me too much.  After I send my ballot in I am going to do a random picture political edition blog.  Promise.  Also I got the game Typing of the Dead last night I want to do a review of that.  Either on youtube or here or both.  We will see.  I love the game so far.  I think that would be a great end note for Halloween.  So if you don’t see it by Halloween then this is an empty promise.  Cough.

Random pictures that I have taken or found

October 9, 2008

The title basically explains what this blog article is about.  These are some funny pictures I have taken over the course of the last 6 months or pictures I have found on the internet.  These aren’t all of them but they are just a few.  I wouldn’t want this blog article to be read at my funeral but it’s a good one nonetheless.  Let’s begin…

This article will show at least one picture for everybody I think.  This also shows how bent my sense of humor is.  I have the kind of sense of humor that is offensive to a lot of people.  But I feel you only live once so why not laugh your problems away.  People become alcoholics because they get overwhelmed by life’s problems well I just have a good laugh and then move on.

I had to do this picture first because I took it to use on my blog and I want to use it just so I can say I did.  To whom exactly?  No idea.

Where are they out?  And why if it’s someplace else, did they have to specifically put this tiny sign over the raspberry tea dispenser?  I love their artistic skills on the frowny face, nice touch.  Nice touch indeed.  As opposed to a bad touch that you hear about in special episodes of older Saturday morning cartoon specials.  I saw the episode online of Different Strokes about child molestation a couple months ago for the first time and it still gives me the willis just thinking about it.

This one I took Tuesday night at our precious Super Walmart that is up the street.  You can get practically anything done or buy anything there and never go anyplace else.  It’s kind of scary in it’s own way.  But we were waiting forever behind a girl that was no older then 20 that had a kid that was no older then a year old with one on the way and I see this older lady taking her sweet time getting out change from her purse to pay for her groceries.  I had to sneak a picture, and took one as quickly as Harry could say, “Jodi no!” because I am like a martial artist with my cell phone.  Flip open, flip closed.  I hope the lady behind me in line didn’t notice.  I think she was too busy staring at all the different kinds of gum.  I admit, they are hypnotising in their own way.

You can’t really tell from that picture but I am pretty sure the lady was wearing a black fanny pack.  Right above the little counter where you write a check in our lane you see a black strap.  She can tell all of her bingo buddies now that she is an internet celebrity.  I kind of don’t want to and want to not give a shit anymore about my appearance at the same time so much that I can wear very loud flowered pants like that when I am older or even now with dignity.  Very loud and the colors are very bright.  This picture doesn’t do justice.  I saw them from the corner of my eye, just to do a really good look at them and take this picture.  I couldn’t look at them directly for long, I didn’t want to do permanent damage to my precious eyes.  I don’t even know where she would buy those!!  Did she make them?  Is she that dedicated to her flower pants wearing cult?

Moving on… I have a picture for all of the car lovers out there.  Well, I think lover is too strong of a word.

I took this one myself.  I blurred the plate in paint shop pro because I am not cruel enough to post their plate number.  It’s a bit blurry because I rush really quickly while taking pictures of people’s cars because I am terrified of the reaction if they catch me.  I take pictures of bumper stickers sometimes because I am either laughing at them or with.  I was especially nervous to take this one, if they are such a rebel they spent a good amount of money to  make their plate cooked on their car I don’t want any trouble from them.  If you look closely then you can tell it’s not loosely on there and needs to be fixed like a picture frame, no there is an indent in the car frame around the plate that is crooked and the plate is screwed on like a regular plate but not really, well you know what I mean.

Is this a trend in the car business?  If not, how do you go about modifying a car like that?  I would think that it would be an awkward request.  And I wonder how much that would cost.  The joke to me wouldn’t be worth spending that much money to follow through with.  It probably cost a pretty penny.  What people do anymore to stand out and make a statement.

This statement isn’t as subtle, and it’s even more hilarious.  I’m going to warn you now.  Put down any beverages you are drinking and swallow them completely.  Also stop eating anything.  I don’t want to owe anybody a keyboard.  Are you ready?  Alright here it is…

Ok I think this one speaks for itself.  I mean generator, air conditioner, you can figure it out.  This person deserves credit for their craftsmanship.  And hardheaded stubbornness that I respect because I have that too.

It’s a lot easier just to roll down a window when the air conditioner breaks and enjoy the breeze.  It’s a lot quieter too.  I don’t know the back story so I guess I have no room to judge.  Heh.

Enough of the car pictures.  Have I told you lately that I love you?  Well I do 😀

If you want to say I love you in the snarkiest way this is the way to do so.  I love the that it has just the right tip at the bottom of the heart.  So sweet.  So loving.  So snarky.

These next pictures might offend you.  But I guess if you have read this far it won’t bother you too much.

This photo is blurry because the picture is tiny and I wanted to blow it up.  This picture I saw on someone’s default avatar on myspace and I had to have it.  This goes right along with my sense of humor.  Being a lesbian I wouldn’t dare wear a t shirt or have a bumper sticker proudly displaying it because then I would be labeled a man hating lesbian that I so don’t want to be label as.  And why do people have to go around labeling others anyway?  I don’t want to get off on that rant right now but you get my point.  This is funny to me though.  I told my best friend Harry about it and he said he didn’t get it.  I guess if it said I like my women how I like my coffee I would be a hypocrite and not smile as wide about it.  I say about like Canadians.  I started doing that about 3 years ago.  Mystery to me and Harry.  Weird.  Ground up and in the freezer ‘chuckles’

Ok I feel everyone is at least a little racist.  But I feel I am not an out right bigot.  I feel we were all born the same way so we are all equal.  People aren’t better then you because they have more money, they have a more attractive wife, or anything else in this life that you would compare with others.  You should NEVER compare your life to other people’s lives because you will always wind up short and just feel bad about yourself.  You should look at your life and see how grateful you should feel about the things you have, not feel awful because of what you don’t have.  Who cares if you don’t have an expensive rolex watch and a guy on tv does!  A 20 dollar one still works great!  It’s stuff!  Life is about enjoying sunsets and breathing and what not!  Moving on…

I can just see some squeaky voiced teen just slapping those signs everywhere on January 31st at closing time.  When you get all of those signs up you can close up go home the boss says.  See you on Monday he says.

I hope I made you laugh.  And think.  Laugh and think.  Yeah that sounds right.

I just wanted to say if I didn’t take the picture myself or get it elsewhere the pictures in this blog article I stole from ircimages.com which is a great site to turn off your brain and laugh with.  These pictures are ones that people upload to show on the IRC chat room server.  So it’s very random.  If you dig for a while then you can see some really funny and really stupid pictures.  Like Beavis and Butthead stupid.  But I feel that is good for the spirit.  Warning that site shows EVERYTHING which means you will see also full color porn.  Porn you might not even thought of before.  It’s not for the weak stomach.  I am not talking about 2 girls one cup I am talking about furries people.  Those people are sick fucks.  I love them but not in that way.  Also glorious shots of some beautiful women.  Some of the comments people leave are very funny and immature.  I have read some great ones.

Aww heck just one more funny.  Told ya I loved ya 😀

Like I said a few paragraphs above I’m a lesbian.  If you have any street smarts then you could tell from a mile away.  I have very short hair, I dress and walk like a guy.  Especially if their is a chick I have the hots for around.  Can’t explain it it’s subconsious people.  But this video is so funny to me.  I just love how positive her voice is like she can’t believe it.  And when she corrects herself it’s so so funny because it’s like where she is from Gay is a synonym for Blindness.  You all know this but I just wanted to point it out.  Have a great day all and I will try to post another blog with a smaller gap of time between this one and the last one.

Hey kid rock and roll, rock on

August 27, 2008

I was randomly cruising through youtube like I do pretty much every night and I came across something horribly brilliant from the late 80’s.  If you know me you know that anything that is horrible but in a good way (the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Coming out of their Shells Tour anyone?) that is from the 80’s or 90’s is like a gold nugget to me.  By the way, this blog article might be subpar which I blame on the thin crusty layer of chocolate chip cookie dough on my hands from baking 3 batches and simultaneously writing this blog.

I was watching the What the Buck Show which I usually don’t do because he mostly talks about celebrities and gossip, and I started watching a video with Buck talking about minisodes.  Minisodes are current or older shows (mostly older) that are the entire show wrapped up in around 5 minutes.  It’s like nostalgia for the busy body.  I started watching some, and came across some Young and the Restless Minisodes and just clicked on one.

Because hey during the summer time and during Monday’s or snow days off I watched some of the soaps that my Grandma religiously watched and if we interrupted she would yell, “Shush! Listen!” at us and continues to do because she is still alive.

I watched the intro of the Minisode and saw a guy with a leather jacket on w/ the zippers you know the kind I am talking about rocking out by himself for a second or two on the white background like they used to have in the 90’s.  That intro is worth watching because IMO it’s quite amusing if you think soap operas are cheesy and you don’t get why they stay on the air.  Just the intro will due.  Anyway it popped into my head that yes!  He was like a pop music musician (oxymoron?) trying to break out of soaps and really have a music career guy.  I listened to the songs on the radio!  I know about that!  I went to wiki about it, nothin’, and then typed in Young and the restless and one hit wonder and with the information that there is a hip hop group called Young and Da Restless I found out that Michael Damian is the name of the actor and yes he has had several hits and so I went off to youtube to try to look up a handful of them to see if they would jog my memory.

Unfortunately none of them did really just a couple slow romantic songs that I don’t remember vividly.  BUT I found something blogworthy.  Behold.

(I updated the link, it’s not the Night Flights video anymore.)

This song was a cover of the classic song Rock On from the 70’s.  Michael Damian sang it for the movie Dream a little Dream in 1989 that has the two Coreys Feldman (still in his walk, talk, and act like Michael Jackson phase) AND Haim in it.  That is why they are in the video.  I had no clue about any of this before I watched the video so I was thinking to myself, “Were the Two Coreys in EVERYTHING in the 80’s?!?” No they are just in the movie and it was a quick little way to link it to the movie I think.  Like the music video I’ll be there for you by the Rembrandts.  I thought the music video though when I first watched it and had no clue about the movie was like the Beach Boys music video Kokomo that Michael was just friends with them and they wanted to kill an afternoon shooting a music video with him.  Dream a little Dream is in it’s entirety on youtube and looks interesting so I just might watch it in a day or two.  I watch the Two Coreys on A&E at the beginning it was kind of boring but now it’s getting interesting and I hate Feldman’s wife I want to strangle her everytime she opens her mouth.  She doesn’t know anything about show business and she should just shut up.

I love the Night Tracks Bumper in the beginning of the video that is deliciously 80’s as well.  When I was a kid my Grandparents had an old Satellite that was big and beautiful because once I started to learn how to use it I found all sorts of channels.  Not like how they found when they first bought the thing back in the early 80’s perhaps when they could get every channel cable had even the porn and pay per view channels (my older cousins became lustfilled young men through those channels from what I heard ahem) and I became the only one interested once the companies started blocking channels and started charging for them.

I had my fun.  That dish was a good friend to me growing up.  I should write a whole blog filled with memories of Much music, More music, Feeds of tv shows, and local tv channels showing news casters staring bored out of their mind, the list goes on.  Sometimes I would hit a good one and would get a free cable channel that was starting out and wasn’t blocked.  Like E! for a while and FX when they used to play Batman, Hulk, Life Goes on, Twenty Something, Wonder Woman, and shows they made themselves.

I got a bit off track there, BUT I found a channel I don’t even remember what it was called but I think it was a local channel from another state.

On that channel I would watch Night Flights.  The reason why is I wanted to watch music videos and I took them anyway I could get them.  From watching a handful of clips of Night Flights it apparently wasn’t just about music videos it was much more then that.  Especially because I found a classic clip of Nancy Reagan saying that pot is great and she highly suggests everyone try it. I probably also watched Night Tracks it looks familiar.  But on this specific channel (which WASN’T USA Network I would remember that because I watched USA Network before as a kid) I watched Night Flight and loved it because it was really the only way I could watch music videos at the time and music videos was one of my favorite things to watch growing up and still now I watch them.

I love watching VH1 classic in the morning because it brings me back to my childhood, killing a Saturday or Sunday afternoon watching a bunch of random music videos.  Obscure ones mixed in with the ones that were popular hits.  This channel that Night Flights was on I had to change the channel right before the commercial started because most of the commercials were just phone sex ads with half naked women (I remember seeing not just teasing but full on TITS in those commercials) and I knew I would be banned from flipping to that channel if I got caught looking at shiny tan half naked women.

Another show on that channel I watched a couple of times by myself were stripper competitions.  They would have a pole on one of those platforms that have wheels underneath for easy traveling and some bearded, greasy, overweight judges with heavy chains on would watch them strip to a Montey Crue Song or some other stereotypical stripper song until they were completely naked then they would step aside and let another girl dance almost the same way they just did.  They always had a name like “Brown Sugar” or “Wild Cherry” I was curious because of the naked part but even a kid that has only seen nakedness that was attractive so few times I could of counted them on my soft small hand I wasn’t interested.  The only reason why it was interesting is because it was taboo and I obviously shouldn’t of been watching it.  So anyway, I am going to go wash my hands now and go to bed.

My Wii Code

July 20, 2008

4352 0720 2033 6534

I just thought I should give you my Wii Code.  You have to put this in and give me yours or it won’t work so I have been told.  And anybody that comes over from X-E you can post comments on this blog giving me your Wii code.

Something just happened to me that usually happens to Billy

July 17, 2008

So I HAVE to share.  HAVE to.

BTW if you haven’t been paying attention Billy or Bill or Will is from Veggiemacabre.wordpress.com .  He is known for having over the top embarrassing things happen to him either he brought it on himself or he just was at the wrong place at the wrong time.  His story about why he was a competitor in the Special Olympics is classic, look it up when you have the chance.

But my story just happened a few minutes ago.  I wanted to tell you all when it is still fresh in my mind.  This is one of my own damn fault kind of embarrassing stories which is the worst kind because you can’t blame anyone else for the embarrassment.  At least in the Special Olympics story Billy has he can blame the mother.  Me?  Only myself.

I am just sitting here catching up on my emails, responding back to text messages on my phone, and I get a phone call.  I don’t usually get phone calls from anyone except my best friend Harry and a good friend that calls every Thursday and that is it.  If a lot of calls are made I make them.  Just a few minutes ago I got a wrong number call.  Usually a wrong number call isn’t that long but this one was special.  And not in a good way.

A side note, have you ever had one specific phone number in your life that got a lot of wrong numbers?  I had a land line when I lived in Stanfield that did.  At least once a month or once every two weeks someone would call and say oops sorry wrong number.  We felt like we had the most recycled number the phone company had.  It was funny though.

But just a few minutes ago an older lady called.  I don’t get many of those.  But I swear, you have to believe me that she sounded exactly like my Great Aunt that is my Grandma’s sister.  In the logic in my brain at the time of the call I thought it was her and she accidentally called me on her phone number list instead of Karen.  I know better now reflecting.  I mean why would my Great Aunt have me on her phone number list?

This is about how the conversation went.  Not word for word.  I have to do this by memory.

*Click*

Me: Hello?

Her: Oh I’m sorry, I was trying to call Karen.  This doesn’t sound like Karen.  I must of called the wrong number.

Me:  Oh hi!! (with a big smile on my face, I haven’t talked to my Great Aunt in at least a couple of years)

Her: Oh hello?  Is Karen there?

Me: Don’t you know who this is?

Her: Apparently I don’t.  I was trying to call Karen.  I’m sorry I don’t know who you are.  Who are you and where is Karen?

Me: You know who I am!!

(pause)

Me: I don’t know where Karen is but you called me instead of her by accident.  But (fumbling with my words) I am Jodi.  Mary Ann’s youngest! (Mary Ann is the first name of my Grandma)

Her: I don’t (pause) know you.  I don’t remember you.  I am going to hang up now and try to call Karen.  I don’t know who you are but I need to speak to Karen now.  Goodbye now! (old ladies have an odd politeness to them)

Me: Oh ok bye!! (still excited thinking I just had a very odd conversation with my Great Aunt)

*Click*

About 2 minutes go by and it hits me.  That WAS a wrong number.  I looked at her number on my phone.  The area code is the same as mine.  My Great Aunt lives in Great falls Montana.  This is like a wacky 80’s sitcom where the two coffins get switched at the simultaneous funerals.

What have I done.  What have I done…

Thoughts about bottle returns at Grocery stores

July 14, 2008

Plastic bottle refund at Walmart

Anyone that has seen the Walmart bottle refund “center” I think they call it has seen this picture.  The O that looks like it is cut in half is where you shove the capless bottle into.  It is about face level.  EVERY SINGLE TIME we go to either Safeway or Walmart to refund our bottles or cans we have a problem and need to talk to someone to either have them fix the machine or write us a handwritten reciept for our bottles.  Heaven forbid you buy a new soda, apparently you have to talk to satan himself to program the barcode into the machine so that soda can be refunded through the machine.  Every single time.  And it always stinks like beer and cigarettes.

That wasn’t even the reason why I posted this post.  Do you ever look at something and assume it is something that it isn’t until you really look at it?  That up there is obviously silhouettes of 2 liter plastic bottles.  For at least a year I have glanced at the picture and I have seen a silhouette of a stout man with a top hat on.  I always have to remind myself those are plastic 2 liter bottles.  I hope someone out there in cyberspace except me understands the logic behind it.  If you don’t it’s cool.  In about a week I should be doing a review of the new Jelly Belly freezer ice pops they have out now.  We were on a tight budget food wise this week so I didn’t throw them in the cart.  It looks blog worthy though so stay tuned.

Yet another way to kill time online: Wordle.com aka I think I am getting the hang of this blogging thing

July 3, 2008

I just made this word collage at a site called Wordle.com.  FIrst you type in a ton of random words.  Like this one is words I feel describe me and then it in a Java applet it shoots out the words.  The bigger words are bigger in the program and you can pick from several color schemes and go through a random color generator pushing Ctrl E several times until you find what you like.  If you saw one you liked a couple of clicks ago you can’t go back!  But it is fun for sure and very creative.  This is the only one I saved (I pushed prt sc (the print screen button) and then went into paint shop pro and then pushed Ctrl V like when you copy and paste while firefox was in full screen mode and then I cropped) so far but this program has great potential to incorporate itself into an art project.  And I can see people sending secrets to postsecret.com that is written in this program, printed then glued on a postcard.  They might of already did I don’t remember.

I like how the word creative and the word eyes meshed together.  I can also see the potential of this helping out an author with writer’s block.  Coolness 🙂  Oh well time to make fruit salad.  BTW I am better now I think I am on my way.  All those other times i thought I was but I need to promise myself this time I am not to quit trying to find what I am looking for to make me happy instead of fake distracted happy.  Take care all.