Archive for the ‘food review’ Category

Review: Jurassic Park Dinosaur shaped Chicken Nuggets

May 12, 2008

Friday afternoon, I am walking through our Super Walmart that is about 4 blocks from where we live, remembering that I need some chicken nuggets. I got two boxes for a dollar a piece on sale about 3 weeks ago and decided I want to get them on a regular basis because they are great late night snacking food. I know they are made out of the leftover innard filler from a chicken, but I feel life is too short to worry about what you are eating. If it tastes good, eat it. That is one of my very important mottos. Find a notepad and write it down. It’s ok I’ll wait.

So anyway, I am walking past the freezer aisles, looking at the various things and realize it’s my time to choose what brand of chicken nuggets (if any at all) I am getting. This is what I am looking at:

Yes I snuck pictures with my camera phone for you all. I don’t give a shit 🙂

So your looking at them, and see the blah adult chicken nuggets and the badass jurassic park ones. Which one would YOU choose?!?! I would think the people that read my blog would be cool enough not to choose these blah adult ones:

Which were about the same price as these:

And anyone that knows me knows I am a cheap bitch. They were 4.95 for 2 pounds which I think is pretty good. That will last for about 2 weeks or so.

Later that night, I was getting a little hungry and I remember I have some chicken nuggets that LOOK VAGUELY LIKE FUCKING DINOSAURS in my freezer. And a newly purchased bottle of ketchup. I like BBQ sauce better (hi DJ D!) but I am not going to buy a bottle of BBQ sauce just for chicken nugs. Because I can use ketchup for other things and BBQ sauce I would only get for the nugs.

Now, I have a feeling there are 4 dinosaur shapes in this package. I only could find three distinguished ones. Usually there are 4 shapes I think. They didn’t have a guide or a description on the package anywhere.

The T Rex (top right) Yep that’s a Rex all right. I can totally see a T Rex stomping all over a little boy’s peas and mashed potatoes. Take that, evil green balls of death!! ROOOAAARRRR!!!!

Now I am not a dinosaur expert. Far from one. So I am honestly googling the other names. Google: making people seem less of an idiot daily.

Brontosaurus (left) Like the little blonde girl said in the first movie, that there is a veggie eater. Made outta chicken filler and breading.

Pentaceratops (bottom right) or honestly any of them that kind of look like a rhino. I think you know what I mean.

And I ate some of these nuggets about an hour ago, I think one looked like a Pteranodon. IE the flyin’ dinosaur. But maybe it was the T Rex or another one that was just really stretched out, who knows.

Did you know that some people think Dinosaurs didn’t exist because they aren’t in the bible? Crazy fucking creationist psychos!!

The taste? Not bad. You can’t really fuck up a chicken nugget. Sometimes the breading tastes a little better, but most of them taste the same to me. I applaud the Jurassic Park people for stretching out their franchise for so long. They can sell these dinosaur chicken nuggets for a LONG time. I can’t imagine what kind of foodie shit they made during when the first movie was in theaters. Which I was in 6th grade when it came out and I remember that because my friends and I read it!! It had a lot of science mumbo jumbo in it which I honestly skipped a lot of the gobbly gook. It just was boring! A lot of the book was based on before they even created a park, they were tweaking with the Dino DNA a lot in the first 100 or so pages. I read the book after I watched the movie. I read the book Sphere too years before the movie came out. I liked it. I wanted to be part of the crew.

On the front of this package
it says there are Dino Facts on the back. There is a kickass T Rex cowering over a list of facts about him. I think this is one of my favorite parts of this packaging, the drawing of T Rex overlapping the package where everything has it’s place.

It says:



North America

Approximately 40-feet long

Weighed up to 8 tons

Had 60 teeth that could grow up to 8-inches long

Made up of over 250 (is that all that impressive?) bones

T-Rex could eat up to 500 lbs of meat and bones in one bite! (that’s 250 bags of your Jurassic Park Nuggets)

T-Rex had jaws powerful enough to crush meat or bone with 6,000lbs of pressure

T-Rex lived nearly 65 million years ago

Now, that’s all cool and impressive and everything, and I bet a little boy or a tomboy type of girl would think that would be totally cool. But these are FROZEN nuggets we are talking about. The company shouldn’t put stuff on the back for them to read like a cereal box! And it’s not like the packages are different (I looked in the store) once you have read a T-Rex had jaws powerful enough to crush meat or bone with 6,000lbs of pressure that’s it. No more killing time by reading about dinosaurs off of a chicken nugget bag. After that your done.

In conclusion, pretty good product. They taste great with Ovaltine. Yes I drink that now. I found myself wanting a chocolate drink mix that if you don’t mix it throughly you get something to eat at the bottom but the stuff dissolves so quickly it practically stirs itself. I grew up drinking Nestle Quik. Sigh I guess I’ll try to find some Carnation Instant Breakfast.

And a mini rant I almost forgot about. Why the FUCK do people have TWO seals on things? Isn’t one enough?? Like when you take off the seal around the cap of ketchup or mustard or another bottle and then you have to take the cap OFF in order to take the seal off underneath? If the seal around the edge is broken I am not going to buy it assholes so why put the one underneath?!? It aint to keep it fresh I think the one around the edge is enough for freshness. PPpppppssssssffffffttttt.

RAWR. If I knew what show I was watching when I took this picture I would tell you. Pop up video perhaps? Who knows.