A PSA about Sour Cotton Candy

I went to Big Lots yesterday to stock up on dinner food and some snacks. If there isn’t a Big Lots near you (it might have a different name where you live) it is a store that sells a variety of things. It’s kind of like an outlet store because you don’t know what is going to be in there and some things are cheaper then other stores. The candy that you buy you don’t know how fresh it is, and you see products in there that it looks like a product that has flopped. They have cds, dvds, computer stuff, shampoo, clothes detergent, furniture, toys, and just a little bit of clothes, greeting cards, jewelery, dog toys, and non perishable foods. Some things they have are cheaper and a few things your better off goin’ to Wal mart. And it pisses me off when that happens for some reason. I think it’s just the principal of it.

I had 12 dollars to spend, and my total came up with 12.50. I told the woman working the register to take off one of the energy drinks (they were .60 cents a piece, the cheapie obscure branded energy drinks, don’t get excited for nothin’ people) and she said oh don’t worry I’ll find 50 cents someplace! I was relieved but also suspicious. This year so far at least a couple of times a month I get that. The ‘oh don’t worry I’ll just give you somethin’ for free’ at the register type of conversation. It made me gitty and happy before (especially when I was really really broke and needed some of the stuff I was buying) but now I am wondering what these people that do this for me think of me. Do I look like a homeless pathetic person? Do I look like I am a sad puppy dog and they felt like giving me a handout to make themselves feel like that is their good deed for the day? Now typing this, maybe they know in their gut this has been one of the hardest years of my life and giving me a cheap freebie is their way of telling me that there are times that human nature is good. Maybe they just don’t want to put the shit back on the shelf after I leave. Hmmmm several things to ponder.

Tear Jerkers Cotton Candy

This is one of the things I got last night in my grocery run.  For a measly dollar, I got a bag of Tear Jerkers brand cotton candy.  I only get cotton candy every so often.  It’s a little rich for me so just every couple of years does it for me.  I remember as a kid not being able to finish the whole amount of it on one of those paper sticks at the fair.  But I think I have only eaten that kind of cotton candy once.  Oh well.

There are two flavors: Sour watermelon and Sour grape.  They are very clever with the names.  The watermelon is very incredibly sour but the grape not so much.  And if I knew there was grape in the package I probably wouldn’t of got it and they were all the same so there were no choice.  But it’s alright I’ll eat the entire thing.

Tear Jerkers showing the cotton candy

See the purple and green?  Yep.  But this isn’t a typical candy review oh no, I am warning you.  The first couple bites and yes they were big bites into the fluffy texture, were painful.  You know when you eat something really spicy and it clears up your sinuses?  This cotton candy does that and oh yes it makes you tear up, wince, and your nostrils flare and burn and snot comes out.  One buck at your local Big Lots.  Last night while watching horror movies (I FINALLY got in the mood to watch them!  YESS!!) I just took little nibbles throughout my other snacking.  That was the only way I could tolerate the candy while I very slowly make the fluffy mound shrink. 

 BUT today I figured out how you can eat it without being in excruciating pain!!  You take a reasonable amount of fluff, and here is the tricky part.  You take your tongue and plant the fluff on the roof of your mouth as quick as possible.  If it lingers then it will burn.  It is like a game of Russian roulette people because this method is not guaranteed.  What you want to do is get as much moisture on the fluff as possible, enjoy the taste, feel it get into those tiny hard candy clumps it always is afterwards and then swallow.  That is how to do it!!  I’m never buying this shit again I am just telling you all NEVER EVER again.  I’ve never had sour candy make me hurt like that before and I’ve had lemonheads and warheads.  Oh well I guess this is making me earn my 50 cents off discount.  Until next time all.

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6 Responses to “A PSA about Sour Cotton Candy”

  1. verticalx Says:

    Hahah, can’t say I’ve tried sour cotton candy, but I’ll be sure to avoid it. =P

  2. Billy Says:

    Happy Halloween Jodi!! Hope yours was a great one.

  3. Billy Says:

    Hey stranger! Where have you been?

  4. Amy Maurie Says:

    I absolutely love that cotton candy i would spend more than a dollar on it any day. I mean the first bites burn ur nostrils at first but the taste makes up for it. I love it!Last time I went to big lots i bought all they had which was 3 bags and it was good and had no problem with it!

  5. Ken Says:

    THANK you. I’m having an allergic reaction to my friend’s pets… and i’m so stuffed up I can’t even blow my nose well… it’s just… a solid block in there… I looked around the net and found this site by accident… I went to Big Lots, I actually FOUND the watermelon/grape package, and it’s august of 2009. So… thank god. (I didn’t originally check the date on this, lol).

    so… I tried it… and THANK GOD, I can BREATHE again! I had to get into my browser history and find this site again so I could thank you! LOL

    • Jodi Says:

      Uhhh thank you? This was quite a while ago but I still remember the cotton candy burning my nose like a mother fucker because I am a masochist I think I will try it again this Halloween.

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